Grateful

I follow a lot of blogs. Some about photography and other just about their families lives. I found this blog a few days before her 8 week old son passed away from Percussis which is one of the diseases babies get vaccinated against at 8 weeks of age. This little guy didn't have the chance to be protected. The quote below is from the mothers blog post today. It made me hold my kids a little closer today. I am so thankful that with all the "issues" we have had in the last 6 months nothing came close to this situation.

A mother letter about her dreams to her baby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have these dreams.

And you're still alive.

And I think to myself,

"now what was all the fuss about?"
or "I can't wait to tell everyone the good news!"
or "Wow! What a magician you are! You fooled us all!"

In my dreams I don't scoop you up
and attack your neck with kisses and tears like I would
if my dreams were real life.

I just look at you matter of factly
and feel glad that it was all just a big misunderstanding.

I wish I could have a nice sit down with
that dream mommy of yours.
I'd beg her to scoop you up and give you a big delicious snuggle
from your real mommy who's arms
are simply ravenous over your memory.

alas.

God is still Good.

All the time.

Even when I'm sleeping.

Because of him, one day the dreams I dream tonight
will be the reality of my every day.
forever and ever.

and ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can not imagine having to go through this. I cry every time I read it but to me it is necessary reminder of how lucky we are to have healthy children. If I force my self to read this right after Cole pushes my buttons the anger instantly goes away and I forget why I was even mad at the little / big guy. I had Siena nap in my lap today because I could and I loved every minute of it. I may even do it again tomorrow.