Public Announcement

Dear fans at Hills Flat Lumber,

I wanted to let you all know that I am doing OK after my encounter with the picnic table. As far as physical wounds, I have a nickle sized bruise on my right cheek that is slightly purple. Mentally I have begun to intentionally fart and burp for attention and I have started to pants my mom at the most inappropriate times. Last night I did it when her hands were covered in bacon fat and her only choice was to finish the bacon or cover me with bacon fat. Which option do you think the pregnant lady chose? I bet she's enjoying that bacon for lunch!

Sincerely,

Cole Thomas Fredy